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(Not another one about) The Road

by Nick Parker

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about

Just a little song about going on tour.

lyrics

The alarm was set for 9am but I woke at twenty to
I’d packed my bag the night before so there wasn’t much to do
I toyed with the idea of staying underneath the covers
But a ‘van call’ is a 'van call’ and I had to get the others
We’re meeting up at Tom’s place where John can leave his car
He’s picked up Robin’s breakables and Brad and his guitars
The coolbox and the squeezebox the cornet and the snare
The bass cab, the keyboards and with hardly an inch to spare
We’re squeezing in some extra merch I hope we don’t regret this
Nearly done and sure enough somebody mentions Tetris
Fully packed we bagsy seats and off we go again
We have to get to Podimore where we’re meeting up with Ben
He’s packed a pair of tracky B’s in case his jeans get dirty
And he needs to get to Maccy D’s at the latest by ten thirty
J-Lo has his banjo and we’ll meet him at the show
So it’s one last check for passports and we’re out on the road.

We have to use the Sat-Nav ‘cause I didn’t take the trouble to Sellotape the pages back into my A to W
Shouldn’t really need it as it’s only down to Dover
But there are speed restrictions all the way and it stops me going over
It shows an ETA I tend to read as ‘Time to Beat’
And her soothing voice is company when the others fall asleep
We sometimes disagree but on the whole she’s got my back
We’re on first name terms, she calls me Nick, I call her Sat
(Sat) in the passenger seat playing DJ
Brad gives us Rufus and Ginger and CJ
And a few guilty pleasures, Chicago and Rainbow
We play ‘Would you rather…’ we play ‘Guess the Intro’
We start to regret all the coffee we had as
We pull into Cobham and empty our bladders
We’ve over an hour to go til the boat
So it’s a quick pick-me-up and we’re back on the road

We try to look innocent as we go through Customs
They tell me they’re prescription, but I’m not sure I trust ‘em
An angel in Hi-Vis he comes to the rescue
and shows us the way to the DFDS queue
Red stairs, Deck five, bumper to bonnet
It’s straight to the bar so that Ben can get ‘on it’
There’s nowhere to sit because they’re lying on the benches
So-we-try to remember what ‘Budge up mate’ in French is
We decide on the restaurant before it gets nasty
and spend eleven quid on seven chips and a pasty
and I head to the shop where I’m guilty of trying
to douse myself in scents I’ve no intention of buying
Up on deck a few guys are smoking cigarettes, one electric, two acoustic and one highly suspect
Would all drivers and their passengers please return down below coz it’s back to the tarmac on the wrong side of the road

We make it through France and then Belgium and Holland
And turn up in Aachen in time for a roll and
a schnitzel and pizza and pretzel and bier
And go to Zuhause to find Stefan and Pia
It’s lovely to see you but don’t you remember
you postponed the whole tour till the middle of November
It was then that alarm bells started ringing in my head
I was still at home and I was still tucked up in bed

credits


Nick Parker and the False Alarms
(Not another one about) The Road
Ben Wain – Fiddle
John Hare – Accordion/Trumpet
John Leonard – Banjo/Whistle
Brad Lister – Electric Guitar
Tom Granville – Bass
Shane Dixon – Drums
Nick Parker – Acoustic Guitar/Vocals

With massive thanks to The Housebound Folkband
Eve Parker – Fiddle
Anneke Eijkelboom – Fiddle
Hannah Johns – Fiddle
Morgan Shaw – Fiddle
Clare Tarling – Fiddle
Robbert Langenberg – Banjo/Mandolin
Matt Tarling – Fiddle

Mixed and Mastered by
Dave Draper

Artwork by Norman Parker (aka Daddy)

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Nick Parker Bristol, UK

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